A Dad’s Lesson in Golf Etiquette: Setting the Club Down

There’s something about junior golf tournaments that keeps you humble — not just for the kids, but for us Dads too.

A few weekends ago, at a local event in Central Florida, I saw what golf can teach better than words ever could. It was the Boys 9-12 division — three good kids, all focused, all serious. One of them stepped up to the tee, placed his driver behind the ball, then laid it down along his feet to “check alignment.”

I caught myself doing a slow exhale.
I’d seen this before. In fact, I’d been this before.

A couple of years back during a PGA Jr League match, my own son did that exact thing. We were playing a match against another golf club, and he was playing against his good friend. I heard him say he wanted to get a hole-in-one on the Par 3. Trying to get everything just right, he proceeded to use his 9 iron club like he’d seen me do on the range. The thing is — range habits don’t always translate to tournament rules.

His buddy waited for him to finish and then said, “That’s a penalty, I’m pretty sure of it” My son was very upset. The coach confirmed it. Two strokes.

You could see the sting. I remember the look — that small mix of embarrassment and confusion that every golfer knows when a rule catches you off guard. We talked afterward, sitting in the cart. I told him, “You’ll remember this one. We all learn the hard way.”

That was the day I realized how tricky it can be for junior golfers to separate practice habits from competition rules. Out on the course with my buddies, I’ll drop a club behind my feet every other round to check my line. In a scramble, nobody cares. But in a golf tournament, under USGA Rule 10.2b(3), setting a club down like that to help alignment means penalty strokes — plain and simple.

Moments like that are where golf etiquette gets tested. It’s not just about being quiet during a swing or repairing ball marks — it’s about respecting the integrity of the game. The rule exists to remind us that every player stands alone in competition, guided only by their eyes, instincts, and honesty.

Earlier this year at a U.S. Kids local tour event, I watched a dad place a club on the ground in front of his daughter to “help her see the line.” At these tournaments, caddies are allowed — and more often than not, it’s the parents who step into that role. Truthfully, some parents mean well but end up overcoaching. I’ve seen “daddy caddies” do everything from placing the ball on the tee to marking it on the green.

She nodded, trusting him. The kid next to her leaned over and whispered that what he’d done wasn’t allowed. You could see the confusion on her face. The dad shrugged it off, not trying to break any rule — just trying to help. But moments like that are hard to unlearn.

Golf etiquette has this way of catching us in the small stuff. It’s not the big, obvious mistakes that get us; it’s the little ones that sneak in between good intentions. And sometimes those are the best lessons our kids can learn — because they’re the ones we remember ourselves.

I play twice a week, still competitive enough to grind over every five-footer. I’ve been on golf trips with my buddies where everyone swears they play “by the rules”… right up until someone hits one into the trees. So when I watch my son play, I’m reminded: golf will teach you the truth whether you like it or not.

That kid with the alignment club learned that lesson early. I saw him later in the day — no club on the ground, just standing behind the ball, taking a breath, trusting his swing.

Good for him. That’s how it starts.

Golf has a funny way of reflecting who we are — in the little choices, the quiet corrections, the moments we don’t think anyone notices. Golf etiquette isn’t about perfection. It’s about character. Setting a club down might seem small, but sometimes the smallest things reveal the biggest lessons.

– M.D., Still fighting my own alignment battles every Saturday morning

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Reference:
USGA Rule 10.2b(3) – Alignment Objects
Florida State Golf Association (FSGA)
Whiff on the First Hole – A Parent’s Perspective
Florida Junior Golf Tournaments