A Parent’s Perspective: More Than a Score: The Whiff That Stuck With Me
November 1, 2025 2 min read
Does a whiff count as a stroke? YES…What happens when a parent just overlooks a shot and does not take the proper penalty. Keep calm and play on..
This weekend at a U.S. Kids local tournament , I witnessed something that’s been sitting with me since. It was the Girls 9–10 division — just a twosome. On the very first hole, a par 4, my player hit the green in two. The other young golfer’s second shot landed just outside the bunker, a tough uphill lie.
As she went to take her next swing, she missed the ball. She turned to her dad, said she’d hit it, but he quickly corrected her out loud: “No, no — that was a practice swing. Continue.” She looked uncertain, then hit the next shot cleanly onto the green. Her next putt dropped.
I watched quietly. In my book, that was a five. They marked down a four. The dad started a friendly, casual conversation on the next tee — almost like a distraction. I said nothing.
I’ve been around enough competitive junior golf to know the rules. My daughter has taken stroke penalties for whiffed shots before, and it’s never fun. But that moment was a missed teaching opportunity — not about golf, but about character.
According to the official rules of golf, if a player makes a forward swing with the intention of striking the ball and misses (“whiffs”), that attempt must be counted as a stroke. However, if the motion was clearly a practice swing — with no intention to hit the ball — then it does not count as a stroke.
The game gives us plenty of chances to teach honesty, integrity, and accountability. Those lessons are worth more than a lower score. In the end, both girls tied — 41 and 41 ( in my mind it was 41 and a 42) — but I couldn’t shake what I saw.
“How You Do Anything
T. Harv Eker
Is How You Do Everything.”
That quote hits especially hard after this round. It’s not about calling anyone out — it’s about reflection. As parents and caddies, what do our kids learn from how we handle these small moments?
Golf is a lot like life. Every shot, every call, every decision — they all reveal something about who we are. The little things matter. A missed stroke, a quiet “it doesn’t count,” might not seem like much in the moment, but those small choices can build habits. One small lie can turn into another. One easy excuse can become a pattern.
T. Harv Eker said it best “How you do anything Is How you do Everything. This is what I thought, as wrote down a 4 after the first hole, rolling my eyes. Integrity doesn’t start on the 18th green — it starts on the first tee, when no one’s watching.
The game of golf teaches patience, humility, and truth. Those lessons follow our kids far beyond the course. – G.G, Still rolling my eyes after the first hole